Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in O danny boy's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 1st, 2008
4:02 am	respite we're so good when its just words. i wrote this once, thought it a hundred times more. and now i'll deny it, a thousand times over. and no one would be surprised. its no surprise how i shrink from words now, after oceans and lifetimes of saying how they meant nothing at all. meaningless was never what i truly wanted. but words are nearly the only way we can form questions and statements, and it pains me that even now i shrink from these. to be so much older, to have grown so much; or so i said in words. to shrink from questions, but for their answers. to shy away from statements in anticipation of their response, though for questions too. perhaps we have not yet come so far. possibly it was just so many words, piled on piled on days. no, xeroxed days; that's how i phrased it once. i'm gonna make this worse before it gets better. stupid fucking hope is what we call peserverance until proven sometimes, right? i have to laugh when i talk about fear of words and statements and admissions to others, when that's probably the least of my problems. those admissions to myself by now are even harder. and what does that say? this is still what i want. those are still what i'm afraid of. oceans and lifetimes seemingly meant nothing. is it good, bad, indifferent, or why do i care? and what if i was right? if there's a chance, how can i not? i think trying to rationalize has gotten me into more pain than anything else. so even if it doesn't make sense, but i'm going on feeling? or is this another rationale? and its all probably more meanigless words. once thought, its there. the ball was never in my court, but that's the point of gambling. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 29th, 2008
3:41 am	the fire will burn us both i espouse, admire, and demand honesty from everyone i meet. but secretly, if i'm honest, sometimes i just want someone to lie to me, to finally say everything i've wanted to hear, as long as they do it always and forever. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 1st, 2008
1:49 am	forgetting to put on a jacket _______________ i sit a nearly breathless moment on the bed's edge click off the radio and then the light. _______________ (Comment on this)
Sunday, December 2nd, 2007
1:52 am	aught7 1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before? went apple picking. it was a slow year. 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? read more: not really. drink less: yes,surprisingly. be a better student: eh, not as much as i would've liked. go to a(n): eye, teeth, regular, doctor: no,yes,no philosophical -be more of the person i've wanted to be. specifically, an adult. -say things. stop stammering and talking around things. i'm old enough and arrogant enough to say things pointedly and deal with whatever the reaction -be less hypocritical. or with a positive spin, translate good qualities from certain aspects of my life to areas where they are lacking specific -start taking care of my financial cluster fuck -get back toward finishing my degree -get to various doctors (for real this time) things i probably won't do, but it'd be nice -read more -learn latin -learn italian -learn how to play piano -fall hopelessly in love with the most beautiful, most amazing woman in the world. requited love that is. i'm already there, just waiting for rosario to come on board. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? not this year, but amy's working on it for next. 4. Did anyone close to you die? don't think so 5. What countries did you visit? no traveling abroad this year 6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007? the ever-elusive peace of mind; for real happy 7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? no etching 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? personal growth 9. What was your biggest failure? probably not making more of the year 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? impacted/absessed molar. had it drained and pulled with no anethesia. i am hard-fucking-core. nah, just playing, i was crying like a little school girl. 11. What was the best thing you bought? that's tough. a toss up between a can opener that actually works and a 4qt soup pot. 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? i'd say my dad. he's had a tough year. he's still standing. he's trying to make amends with his family. we'll see how that all goes, but its a step in the right direction. and amy and rob for raising good kids. they're cute. the kids that is. and for making another one. i think i did ok is some respects this year. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? ah, spanky and i always seem to make this list. probably moreso depressed than appalled though, so we're making progress. 14. Where did most of your money go? rent, cigarettes, eating out too much. booze. but good booze, gotta love the guiness. 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? my turducken. like i said, it was a slow year. 16. What song will always remind you of 2007? against me! "thrash unreal" amy winehouse "rehab" 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: - i. happier or sadder? happier for the most part (again, again, oddly enough) - ii. thinner or fatter? thinner. not eating for a week with my tooth knocked me down a few pounds - iii. richer or poorer? about the same 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? getting my shit together 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? getting bogged down in shit 20. How will you be spending Christmas? eating a turducken 22. Did you fall in love in 2007? only more deeply so with myself 23. How many one-night stands? none for me, thanks. i think i'm back to being a virgin again. 24. What was your favorite TV program? eh, shark? 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? i was going to say "no, i still hated everyone last year too (again)" but then i started thinking, there's probably a whole lot more people to hate that weren't around this time last year. so yes, there's plenty of people i hate now that i didn't last year. (that's right, i said it, i hate babies. wanna fight about it?) 26. What was the best book you read? i liked the book for our visual basic class 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? against me! actually, i started taking a liking to coheed and cambria. reiss would be proud. or actually, probably not. by now they're most likely too mainstream so he hates them and is on to something so cool and awesome and fresh that no one has ever heard of them, not even him. 28. What did you want and get? a promotion. i actually got it twice. same promotion. wrap your head around that one. 29. What did you want and not get? keira knightley 30. What was your favorite film of this year? rent the musical the movie, starring the lovely and talented ms. rosario "soon-to-be-mrs-o'sullivan" dawson 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? worked. too old. 27. ugh. 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? a car i didn't have to play "wonder if it'll break down today" with 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007? pretty much standard same old same old. however, i did by a sweater at the end of last year that, and i say this with an unblemished record of staunch heterosexuality, is fabulous. 34. What kept you sane? thinking. though it is also what kept me insane, so, touchee 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? guess 36. What political issue stirred you the most? how craptastic the country as a whole has become 37. Whom did you miss? everyone 38. Who was the best new person you met? not sure i met anyone new with significance for my life. i got to be friends with my cup of tea plant manager, so that's cool 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2007: calm down and listen. let loose pre-concieved notions. if a man ain't worth his word, he ain't worth shit. 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: "i ran my mouth off a bit too much, oh what can i say well you just laughed it off, it was all ok and we'll all float on ok and we'll all float on ok and we'll all float on alright already we'll all float on even if its gets heavy, we'll all float on" as I went through the motions of another night. And it was alright, because I thought I knew who everybody was just by looking at them. My heart is anywhere but here. And how tired I was from the past couple weeks, from the past couple years, well it hit me all at once. On a balcony overlooking nothing, with snow falling all around, I called just to say good-night. And you hadn't done anything wrong, really, it's me not you. I can't believe how naive I was to think things could ever be so simple. And can you live with what you know about yourself, when you're all alone, behind closed doors, the things we never said but we always knew were right there. It's got me on my knees in a bathroom, praying to a god I don't even believe in, "well Dear jesus...are you listening?" "i never told you i told you so but i told you so" (Comment on this)
Sunday, November 4th, 2007
1:32 am	ramble ramble ramble i had an interesting thought today. in the broad strokes, i kinda am the guy i always wanted to be. i'm still smart, kinda. i'm somewhat creative. i think i'm funny. i find that i am capable. the things i lack, i'm realizing its moreso that i haven't really decided that that's what i want, or if i have, i haven't really started doing anything to get them. indecision is my only obstacle. sometimes i lament not having a girlfriend. but just as often, i'm glad i can just be by my damned self. i don't like having to answer to people. i like being able to do whatever the hell i please. i don't think most people, if anyone, can operate in a relationship like this. i think the whole point is to be intertwined. even myself, if i'm in a relationship, i want them to take me into consideration. i guess an ideal situation is that we would both independently move in the same direction. i don't think this really happens though. not that i really know anything about the philosophy of the subject, but in as much as i think about it, i like the idea of polyamory. no one person is going to fill my every wish, desire, inclination, etc, etc. nor will i for them. mostly everyone has a diverse group of friends to fulfill their various social needs, personality aspects, other various pursuits. it seems kind of arbitrary that we're only allowed to be romantic with one at a time. the problems of jealousy and abandonment are probably what most get in the way. which i guess stems from ego. how can she not be totally complete with me such that she'd have to go to another? how can i not be enough? i think it could work within a group, where i got along with, respected, and trusted everyone involved. i can't even seem to find one person i like anymore, no less several. and of course that would just mean more people to get in my way, have to answer to. anyway, back to me. i think i'm cool. i think i'm attractive. i've been around enough to know some things. i can present myself as though i know everything, but know for myself i don't. i can hold and defend my opinions in the face of opposition. i can know i'm right though people say i'm wrong. and when proven wrong, i can admit it and move on. i am always right, because if its proven what i think is wrong and something else is right, i start to think that and i'm right again. i am sarcastic and stubborn, and often i'm a dick. but i can justify this as being irish. as i've said before i've gotten much better at saying things i would later regret if i didn't, and not saying things i know i shouldn't. there are many times i need to calm down a bit. there are times when i still drink too much, and its probably not great that i do this in order to calm down and release. but i know can still be active in life in spite of when i drink, so its getting better. i'm still not secure, in many ways probably. i am still in an almost ridiculous amount of debt. but i don't want for much. i have food and cigarettes. i can buy my own beer. my bills are paid. kind of chipping away at my debts. kind of making moves to better my situation. this is turning into a state of the danO address. i think i've done this before. i'm gonna look after i'm done. i think i'm a good uncle. i guess only time and my neice and nephew(soon to be S) will tell. but i'm following the uncle mike approach, i do love them a lot. kids are trying. i'm trying to teach them things, and i'm gonna continue. amy and rob are good parents. i wish i'd smoke marb reds. this would fit better with my (self) image. my lungs can't hack it. i wish i had a new black suit. eventually i will. eventually i'll have a sleek zippo, matching flask. maybe a matching cigarette holder. i go back and forth on whether this is cool or gay. the fact that bk had one leads me to think uber gay. eventually i'll have a house with a study/studio/library. a life of elegant simplicity. i'm not sure what this means anymore. things that are sophisticated and tasteful. generally this means expensive, but i don't think it has to be. if a $7 sweater from goodwill makes me look good, i'm happy. if i can make a couch with $20 of materials, i don't need an italian leather sofa. leather makes me sweat anyway. as soon as a car gets me where i have to go, that's where i stop caring. i start to think that the creation of my world matters more than even what it turns out to be. i like process. and if i'm creating it with a beautiful brunette, even better. sometimes i wonder just how smart i am. every test i take, it says i'm higher than average. not earth shakingingly, but better than most. i don't feel out of the ordinary though. i think i'd be average if more people just paid more attention and thought more. i understand things easily, but i'm trying to. maybe moreso, i have a history of trying to, so now i have confidence that i can. my cup of tea plant manager has a class tues and thurs where we learn to measure with various instruments, and other stuff. i think i understand things better than most of the other people in the class, but they're all pretty convinced that they can't really understand things, they're all afraid of math and frequently talk about how its going to take them a long time to understand things if at all. this is another thing i like in my personal growth. i've gotten much better with things that are new and i'm not instantly spectacular at. learning to drive was horrible for me. i recognized how potentially deadly the whole thing could be and i was exceedingly nervous. i was ok at it from the start but i of course wasn't instantly an experienced driver so the whole thing had me worried. i hated our sunday morning lessons. my dad saw this, but i had to learn so we both struggled through it. one of our lessons left both of us shaken and me crying. this week i had fork lift and stock picker training at my job. just as, if not moreso dangerous and deadly, and i was nervous. but it was a much calmer thing. i passed but i was wary. my inclination was to avoid having to use it, but fri i decided i needed to practice so i got the rings down instead of asking the warehouse guy. not groundbreaking, but a shift. i like forward progress. i think i'm at point where i can say i'm ok with myself. this is again, not groundbreaking, but leaps and bounds from where i was. 15, 10, 5, probably 2 years ago. in high school i felt simply repulsive. but i knew i was smart at did well in school and had that to hold onto. in college i began to learn about myself more. good and bad, and i fell off academically. it got to the point where i was just useless, a waste of life. i wasn't sure if what i considered my good points were actually me or just a factor of the structure of living at home. i had learned that i had a character, but i was unsure of the greater characteristics. i was proud of my thoughts, proud of my friends, saddened by my actions, lack thereof, and unsure of myself. so lost in my own murkiness, amy said, come on idiot, move out here. my friends drove me. i am eternally grateful to all. so i find myself today. stobborn as a mule, with my blood on fire. i am in fact a hard worker. i am in fact capable. i am in fact flawed and somehow that's still ok. i am ridiculous, but i see it as part of my charm. ___ It's four in the mornin' Battered and numb A loaded room, an empty gun I whistle a tune, I heard years before The clock started tickin' Where did the time go I danced to the mornin' She called out my name The wind was a howlin' And down came the rain Her arms they caressed me Sweet was her brow She opened my eyes To banish the doubt Wash me down in all of your joy But don't drag me through this again I've heard all your sad songs I can hear It's in with the whiskey and out with the gin I've heard all your sad songs I can hear It's another day older In These Exiled Years The dew on the ground Blankets the face Cold was the night Gone her embrace For your land of the free Now prisons me To rot in this jail Of lost liberty Wash me down in all of your joy But don't drag me through this again I've heard all your sad songs I can hear It's in with the whiskey and out with the gin I've heard all your sad songs I can hear It's another day older In These Exiled Years Walk away, watch me as I wave One foot here, but sure the other's in the grave Walk away, walk away I've heard all your sad songs I can hear It's in with the whiskey and out with the gin I've heard all your sad songs I can hear It's another day older In These Exiled Years (Comment on this)
Thursday, September 27th, 2007
3:54 am	i'm ok Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say. I never want to let you down or have you go, it's better off this way. For all the dirty looks, the photographs your boyfriend took, Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second floor? I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems? (I'm not okay) I've told you time and time again you sing the words but don't know what it means (I'm not okay) To be a joke and look, another line without a hook I held you close as we both shook for the last time take a good hard look! I'm not okay I'm not okay I'm not okay You wear me out Forget about the dirty looks The photographs your boyfriend took You said you read me like a book, but the pages all are torn and frayed I'm okay I'm okay! I'm okay, now (I'm okay, now) But you really need to listen to me Because I'm telling you the truth I mean this, I'm okay! (Trust Me) I'm not okay I'm not okay Well, I'm not okay I'm not o-fucking-kay I'm not okay I'm not okay (Okay) (Comment on this)
Thursday, December 14th, 2006
5:22 pm	aught six aught six another obligatory year end wrap up commence: 1. What did you do in 2006 that you'd never done before? dated a coworker. sort of my boss, actually 2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year? "join the y, only drink decent booze, have an articulated savings plan, and pretty much just try to be better at life." i did join the y, even went for like 2weeks. booze? pretty much. i didn't buy any cheap shit. drank cheap beer, but as kurt says, beggars can't be losers. savings? ha. better at life? maybe. this year: read more, drink less. be a better student, go to a(n): eye, teeth, regular, doctor. 3. Did anyone close to you give birth? proximity wise, probably. everyone out here is having kids at a pretty much constant rate. 4. Did anyone close to you die? my uncle jim. what a pip. 5. What countries did you visit? none, outside of "the country" y'all come back now, ya hear? 6. What would you like to have in 2007 that you lacked in 2006? some peace of mind, a better sense of self 7. What date from 2006 will remain etched upon your memory, and why? pretty much as usualy, there's events that i will remember, but as far as dates, nothing etched 8. What was your biggest achievement of the year? probably starting school. again. and managing to not get fired. 9. What was your biggest failure? being a bit too self absorbed 10. Did you suffer illness or injury? yep. i hear the security tape is gruesome 11. What was the best thing you bought? well, rent, our new apt. all modern appliances, fireplace, and rooftop balcony 12. Whose behavior merited celebration? my dad and my sister. they sort of made amends and stuff. if nothing else, for everyone's respective kids i think its the best thing. and knowing them i know how hard it was for them to both get to that point. so, good job. 13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed? this one goes to the big trumble. many occasions i was glad i didn't take my softball bat with me out here. and of course i'll add myself. i'm sure if i remembered everything, i would be appalled and possib;y depressed. 14. Where did most of your money go? rent, cigarettes, booze, class (but i get reimbursed if i pull a C) 15. What did you get really, really, really excited about? the union of the respective zoggs 16. What song will always remind you of 2006? gnarls barkley "crazy" beyonce "irreplaceable" 17. Compared to this time last year, are you: - i. happier or sadder? have to say happier (again, oddly enough) - ii. thinner or fatter? about the same - iii. richer or poorer? richer? 18. What do you wish you'd done more of? reading, learning, being creative (again) 19. What do you wish you'd done less of? masturbating (again (but things are looking up)) 20. How will you be spending Christmas? eve: morning at her aunts, evening at my sister's. day: a romantic dinner, and spending a (romantic) time at home (the parentheses for how many of our roommates are around). 22. Did you fall in love in 2006? i fell in like if that counts 23. How many one-night stands? 0, but i'm told there was potential for one (see zogg wedding post) 24. What was your favorite TV program? history channel stuff 25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year? no, i still hated everyone last year too 26. What was the best book you read? the only thing i read was half of brave new world. so i guess that by default 27. What was your greatest musical discovery? i like that new mcr song. the head and the ass of the buffalo cd's from foo fighters. 28. What did you want and get? a girl. a bit of a sense of accomplishment. the feeling that i'm working toward something. 29. What did you want and not get? buckets of money. a car. the ability to not live week to week. 30. What was your favorite film of this year? i watched sin city a lot on tv. 31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you? turned 26. probably went to work. i think that's it. 32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying? a benevolent benefactor 33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2006? dirty, ripped work clothes. and i looked like a sax player at zogg's wedding. 34. What kept you sane? beer, eventually getting laid/a girlfriend 35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most? keira knightley 36. What political issue stirred you the most? is lindsay lohan becoming anorexic a political issue? no? well, then not much. but i've had some little stirrings of political interest this year so that's something. 37. Whom did you miss? my entire family, most of my friends (again). something new was that i got to see almost everyone. upstate for zogg's wedding, the island in july, and i saw ericka again when she visited. so that's progress, but i still don't like not being able to see everyone constantly. 38. Who was the best new person you met? best pragmatically, my new rommate lawrence. 39. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2006: sometimes, it is what it is (this is one i relearn from time to time) 40. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year: (kinda? retrospectively) I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind There was something so pleasant about that place Even your emotions had an echo In so much space And when you're out there Without care Yeah, I was out of touch But it wasn't because I didn't know enough I just knew too much Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Does that make me crazy? Probably And I hope that you are having the time of your life But think twice, that's my only advice Come on now, who do you, who do you, who do you, who do you think you are? Ha ha ha, bless your soul You really think you're in control? Well, I think you're crazy I think you're crazy I think you're crazy Just like me My heroes had the heart to lose their lives out on a limb And all I remember is thinking, I want to be like them Ever since I was little, ever since I was little it looked like fun And it's no coincidence I've come And I can die when I'm done Maybe I'm crazy Maybe you're crazy Maybe we're crazy Probably ___ reading this, the best and most impactful part of my year was zogg's wedding, its mentioned in every other answer. so thank you to the zoggs for giving me something to talk about this year. (Comment on this)
Monday, October 9th, 2006
11:45 pm	will you never call again? (the frayed ends of a dream) i feel like i want to say something but i don't know what. i think it would use a lot of profanity, but i'm not sure the point. its kinda urgent but i don't know who to tell. i anxiously check my voicemail and email and mail, waiting for word from i don't know who. i think of letters i should write and i don't know why i don't. i isolate myself from everything i don't what i'm hiding from. i seem to slip in and out of recognition. i'm feeling the weight of my own mortality these days and i want to talk to anybody somebody i don't know i feel lost but if i'm not supposed to be anywhere, what am i lost from? tired and not allowed to slip back into sleep i wish my stomach would stop sinking into feelings i don't understand as the clock says its time to be leaving i leave out the door and i don't understand (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 16th, 2006
10:51 pm	there for the grace of god... why is it that in so much of my life, i just want to scream? what the fuck is going on? what!? what the fuck!? no, what!? why is everything bullshit? like, no, really, everything aside, what the fuck is going on? straight up, when i was growing up, didn't shit mean something?and i guess not. i guess getting older just means you get accostmened and you day, well this is how it is. and i guess this this what i can hope for. the older i get, the more i say no. which is not how its supposed to be. (Comment on this)
6:05 pm	time is not enough You took my hand You showed me how You promised me you'd be around Uh huh That's right I took your words And I believed In everything You said to me Yeah huh That's right If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong I know better Cause you said forever And ever Who knew? Remember when we were such fools And so convinced and just too cool Oh no No no I wish I could touch you again I wish I could still call you friend I'd give anything When someone said count your blessings now 'fore they're long gone I guess I just didn't know how I was all wrong They knew better Still you said forever And ever Who knew? Yeah yeah I'll keep you locked in my head Until we meet again Until we Until we meet again And I won't forget you my friend What happened? If someone said three years from now You'd be long gone I'd stand up and punch them out Cause they're all wrong and That last kiss I'll cherish Until we meet again And time makes It harder I wish I could remember But I keep Your memory You visit me in my sleep My darling Who knew My darling My darling Who knew My darling I miss you My darling Who knew Who knew (Comment on this)
Friday, August 11th, 2006
3:18 am	thoughts, unabashedly thinking thoughts what i need in someone: more or less in order: honest, loyal, petite, brunette, smart, fascinating/intelligent, mature, responsible, romantic i was actually expecting a longer list. someone who's disruptive. there's my life, there's something else, and whatever after. all i need is someone who'll expand every horizon i thought i saw and correct me when i used improper grammer. (Comment on this)
Saturday, May 6th, 2006
6:00 pm	it's just another sunday, on this tired old street well, saturday. ___ so, i'm at work, and it sucks. not really sure if i'm allowed to be online at work, but i figure if they're gonna make me work saturday, that's the price they pay. well, that and time and half. i'm very unhappy about working saturdays. this is the 2nd, and i fear it will be many to come. as usual, i'm expressing my anger through haikus. a sample: my apartment waits unclean, dirty dishes still for i am at work the sun slowly sets town wants to be painted red but i look at felt of all them i think shiny, happy people, off. but no, not for us i have a half page of them. i'm gonna leave them on the QC desk, maybe someone will see them and take the hint that i don't want to work saturdays. ___ in other news, i did what i never do last night (no, not have sex), i drunk called my phone list. so if you didn't hear from me i either hate you or didn't have your number. probably the former. i told everyone to call me back, which is funny because i never have my phone, and even when i do i never answer it. haha, joke's on you, fuckers. ___ life is boring indiana isn't great i need some beer now (Comment on this)
Monday, May 1st, 2006
12:27 am	whiskey in the jar-O they say the inscription on the gate to hell reads "abandon all hope ye who enter here." however, it is exactly that hope that is the main construct of hell. ___ thank you todd for responding to my open invite to be my date to zogg's wedding. i'll respectfully decline however, because ericka can kick my ass. thus danO will be going stagg. beware all ye bridesmaids. ___ correction to last post: i still get drunk on guiness, but not full on dabba-dabba-danO-shabba-drunk. here's hoping they serve guiness at zogg's wedding. ___ i'm this close to giving up and returning to asexual dan, at least for my duration in IN. nothing seems right out here. maybe i'm just not used to having a job and being (almost) responsible. blah. ___ sometimes i miss manO w/ a y ___ my job made me work this, and most likely, future saturdays. danO does not like working on saturday, to the point of referring to himself in the 3rd person. danO believes saturday is a day on convalescence between fri night's binge and sat night's binge. ___ "but don't let me die still wondering what it was i left behind" been listening to way too flogging molly of late. (Comment on this)
Sunday, April 23rd, 2006
8:11 pm	its the devil, and they all want to dance i'm starting to think i have some serious issues. ___ i like girls with eyes that scare me. i've only met a few so far. its exhilirating. ___ i used to think that i cannot get drunk on guiness. the logic being that i'd get full before i really got drunk. but then i got a job. having money meant i could drink stouts more often. so it wasn't long till i could pound guiness. and now i realize, i can't get drunk on guiness. i don't know if its genetics or what, but i can drink gallons of guiness and not be drunk. it doesn't work with domestic stouts or if i mix bud or something, but if i drink only guiness i don't get drunk. its expensive though. ___ the intrigue of being self destructive is the sense of accomplishment when you build yourself back up. ___ having ethics suck. i won't bang a chick who has a boyfriend, i'm not that guy. shitty. ___ whatever. ___ zogg's wedding is going to be fun. (Comment on this)
Monday, April 10th, 2006
1:16 am	dammit danO i find that i am truly self defeating. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, April 5th, 2006
2:12 am	bless me livejournal for i have sinned it has been about 2 or 3 weeks since my last confession. in that time i have drank on three occasions, though i had given it up for lent. one of those occasions was on a date with a married woman. but i think that one is ok because her husband showed up later and i bought him a few beers. i can't think of an instance, but i'm sure i've used the lord's name in vain. i have had impure thoughts...well, pretty much constantly, even about people i'm not all that attracted to, and once i had a dream i was masturbating(i dunno if dreaming about it is a sin or not). i have wished many people dead, though they all deserve it. i guess i have stolen from my job since i take breaks whenever the hell i feel like. i have resolved to fuck with my boss and the other higher ups as much as possible, without getting fired, for my own amusement. i swear often, a few times in this confession in fact. what else? i'm sure there's other shit, but i can't think of it right now. and the other stuff, i'm sure a just and humorous god would not really consider a sin. amen. ________ i've been having gastro-ontological problems recently, as kurt believes my inner demon has devoured my inner troll (which, if you remember had a while back eaten my inner child). i think my body is saying fuck you to my plan of eating healthier. either that or i've been away from pat's cooking long enough that the protective layer of grease on my insides has finally been eaten away. either way, i've been chasing tums with mylanta. cheers. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, March 23rd, 2006
11:30 pm	open application must: -be female -have a dress -be available in the albany/troy area may 29, 2006 (memorial day) -be fun dinner, drinks, possibly dancing, provided. application deadline: 4/21/06 send questions, comments, resume`, additional requirements, to comment sections. *subject to restrictions **all descions are made by management and are final ***offer void in VT (i don't like hippies) (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, March 5th, 2006
3:32 pm	they say the best revenge is living well and revenge is a dish best served cold ___ first and foremost, amy's kids are abso-fucking-lutely adorable. if they get any moreso i'll have to append more cuss words and i'm already running low on hyphens. sam turned 2 last month, rose turns 1 this month. they're both saying words, and its incredible how much they understand. yesterday my mom asked sam where her keys were and he went right to where they were and got them. so freakin smart. i think they get that from their uncle danO. cool, cool beans. ___ kurt is worst the girlfriend ever. he's had a tough time finding/keeping a job, he doesn't cook, seldom cleans, and doesn't put out. i'm thinking about trading him in for a new one, possibly even one with a vagina. its cool having him out here though, keeps it interesting and always amusing. ___ things are actually going well at work. i'll be working there a year at the end of this month. they've strarted training me on one of the plastic injection mold machines, so i'll be doing that 4hrs a day before my regular shift. 20hrs overtime a week = paycheck almost looking like something. and it goes along with my plan. when i started working there all i heard was how no one got raises. so i figured i'd learn as much as possible so they'd have to. in a year i've learned at least a bit in almost every dept and gotten 3 raises since i was a temp. nothing significant, but something. and my boss (in quality control) seems to like me, which is funny cause i don't think much of him. he wants me to get more experience in different areas of the plant so i can move on to "bigger and better things." that's kinda cryptic, but i figure its a good thing. i'll be hired in a year the 1st of june, so i'll get vacation time and 401k. i'm also going to pursue they're education program, maybe even gradumacate someday. all in all not bad. ___ my car remains fucked, i'm saving for something new. 20hrs overtime will help that as well. definitely gonna be looking at "bad credit? no credit? no problem." type places. i guess stupidity is painful sometimes. ___ the almost unthinkable has in fact happened: i have given up alchohol for lent. i'm not very religious these days, but i enjoy ritual and ceremony, and no booze for a month and a half will be good for my liver and more importantly my wallet. "we're out of our medicine, out of our minds, and we want in yours, let us in." ___ i joined the ymca yesterday. i get a discount from my job so its $6.27 a week right from my paycheck. not too bad. and its 2blocks from our apt. i figure if i go regularly, combined with no booze, i stand an ok chance of getting my washboard abs, a belated resolution for the year. an aside, the y does not have a softball league, which is depressing, but offers piano lessons, which is odd. ___ i am getting an ever increasing amount of grey hair, and i believe i might be starting a receding hairline. better hurry up and get married so it don't matter what i look like, cause its all down hill from here. ___ summary: all in all, not too bad. not great, but better. much looking forward to nice weather, bbq-ing dead animal flesh, and checking out the girlies at the beach. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Friday, February 3rd, 2006
1:38 pm	marco (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, January 28th, 2006
9:20 pm	the deepest blues are black ever pick at an old scab to see if it still hurts? that's a stupid idea. (Comment on this)